Sandra vs. Meryl

This is the cover of the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly. I have a lot of questions about the featured headline "Sandra vs. Meryl." Seriously? That's really bad, guys. That means that Helen Mirren, Carey Mulligan, and Gabourey Sidibe are not even in the race. IT'S SANDRA VS. MERYL. The showdown everyone has been waiting for!

No. Actually, if it's down to Sandra vs. Meryl, then give Meryl the Oscar today. Just mail it to her with a thank you card for starring in Lions For Lambs or whatever. She will appreciate it because she's the classiest woman in Hollywood. Not like Sandra Bullock. Sandra Bullock stars in All About Steve and The Proposal back-to-back and it's "The Year of Sandy." I haven't even seen The Blind Side and I have nothing bad to say about it, I just think this is really wrong. It is not the Year of Sandy. They should just go ahead and call it The Year of Jessica Biel because she starred in Planet 51 and appeared on Saturday Night Live as Jessica Rabbit.

If Meryl Streep was walking down the street and glanced at this issue of Entertainment Weekly on the newsstand and read the words "ULTIMATE GUIDE TO OSCAR: SANDRA VS. MERYL," she would probably fall over. I'm sure it wouldn't be mean-spirited or anything, but she's only human. That's what makes her such a great actress. She's MERYL. I will personally write Sandra Bullock a check for ten million dollars if she stars in a movie as Julia Child and gets an Oscar nomination. Yes, dueling Julia Child films. THEN it will be okay to say "Sandra vs. Meryl."

Not that I didn't love Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous. But I don't think she got nominated for that one. Because the Oscars are SO UNFAIR.