Getting rid of the car I don't have, part 1

A really annoying series of events took place at the end of last year that resulted in my car registration being suspended two months before I even found out about it. Needless to say, none of it was my fault and everyone else is wrong.

Before leaving LA for good, David had been using my car for most of last year and I had truly started believing it just wasn't mine anymore. I couldn't have been happier to finally live my life pretty much completely on foot. IN LOS ANGELES. If Tyra Banks could ever be thanked for anything (and I'm still pondering this one), it's her stellar choice to have ANTM post-production at a location incredibly convenient for ME.

So David moved back to Redmond (before he moves to New Zealand) at the end of 2009 and I got stuck with this dumb car again. I never want to own a car again in my life. It's always a new headache, something different going wrong, some check you have to write to the DMV, insurance payments, gas prices, AAAAHHHHHH!! Now I have this old brokedown car with a suspended registration and all I want to do is sell it or donate it as soon as possible. I'm really not sure anyone is going to buy it though, because Tove peed in the backseat three years ago and it still smells like evil when the sunshine cooks out those immortal cat piss fumes. I would not recommend buying this car from me.

But I couldn't even think that far ahead because without a valid registration, I couldn't sell or donate the car at all. The choices presented to me were (a) send in $14 and proof of insurance to get my registration back -- which wasn't going to happen because I'm not going to insure a car I'm trying to get rid of -- or (b) call an automated phone line which offered no options to speak to an actual person. So I decided to go with option (c) and make an appointment at the DMV anyway.

It turns out this was a very good decision. I was prepared for the worst. For the last week I've been dreading this appointment. I was thinking, This is the start of another apocalyptic LA fail and this will drag on for weeks and cost me lots of money for no reason. But no! I showed up an hour early, they called me up in 20 minutes, I signed and dated a single piece of paper and it was done. Totally finished. I am now free to sell the car and it didn't even cost me the $14!

I totally credit Santa Monica, where this kind of stuff tends to be way less annoying for some reason. Way back in the day, Paula advised me to make all my DMV appointments in Santa Monica even if it was out of the way, because they will take care of business. Sure enough, I've always had good experiences at the DMV in Santa Monica, as good as DMV experiences can be. The DMV in Hollywood... well... those might be the four most stressful words in the English language. It's like everyone is handed a crying baby when they walk in the door of that place. And everyone behind the counter has decided they hate you before you reach the window.

Anyway, that is one big mess sorted out. I love it. Next order of business: actually getting this bastard out of my driveway!