Thanksgiving for mom and dad

It's Thanksgiving. Today is a time to think about everything you're thankful for. Not that you shouldn't appreciate your life every day, but now you can appreciate stuff while dressed in a giant turkey costume and singing Beyonce's greatest hits in front of your family. Oh I'm sorry, you don't do that with your family? EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING.

I'm thankful for many things this year. So much has gone right in my life, so many pieces have fallen into place. I've had good luck but I've also worked hard, and I'm thankful that I've been able to focus and make most of the right decisions. I'm still working on being the best person I can be, and I'm thankful for everyone around me who has helped me do that.

So I want to tell you about my parents, because they're amazing and I love them very much.

When I was growing up, they kept me away from television and I ended up reading every book in my elementary school library. This made me a nerd, I guess, but all the teasing couldn't stop me from devouring any text I could find. My parents had this leather-bound volume of Shakespeare. I stole it away to my room, having no idea what any of the contents meant, but imagining how awesome it would to know it by heart one day. (And I never, ever accomplished that goal. Or anything close to it. Fortunately, who cares.) I ended up reading books like people watch movies -- repeatedly, and in one sitting.

My parents taught me the importance of education. In junior high and high school, while other kids were getting jobs and having to pay for their own cars, my parents imposed a family rule that me and my brothers were not allowed to get jobs while we were in school. It was more important to concentrate on classes and homework. They argued, "You have the rest of your life to work. It makes no sense for you to bag groceries or flip burgers instead of studying." I watched other kids crack under the pressure of having a job and trying to finish their homework, consequently hating both. My parents steered me towards a positive relationship with studying and getting good grades. It had nothing to do with pleasing them, or "getting in trouble" if we weren't doing well.

My parents had tremendous respect for feelings, which sounds like hippie talk, but really it just means they had respect for their children. I was an angry, irrational, annoying teenager (like every other teenager in history). Miraculously, my parents said and did everything just right to give me space without letting me forget that even I teenage-hated them, I loved them and could count on them for anything. They're the ones I talked to about the big stuff. They always respected boundaries, which helped me become less guarded, less angry, and ultimately more respectful of other people's boundaries.

In stages (alternating regularly with the unpleasant alternative), my parents made a lot of money, and we lived in a pretty big house. But I could never become spoiled, because from an early age, my parents taught us how important it is to be smart with money. Me and my brothers received monthly allowances, amounting to $5 per year of life. It seemed like an absurd amount of money, especially at 12 years old (receiving $60), but the thing is, that money covered everything but food and clothing. So if we wanted a book, a toy, a movie, or whatever, there was no begging mom and dad. No childish associations made between how much they bought for us and how much they loved us. It was a matter of whether or not we could afford it. Usually, I couldn't. But I learned. My awareness of my own money has saved my ass when I was abroad, when I moved to LA, when I got my first job... always.

There were two areas in which my parents taught us money was no object: education and travel. They paid for my college education, which is one of the most valuable gifts I've been lucky enough to receive. They paid for my year abroad (which I sort of made up for by living at home for a year), which changed my life and taught me lessons I couldn't have imagined before. An understanding of the world as bigger than my hometown, bigger than my home state, bigger than my own country, is something many people never get to have. I certainly wouldn't say I'm there yet, but I will probably work on it for the rest of my life.

Our family vacations were extraordinary trips built around new experiences, and I learned how important it is to spend time in places and around people completely different from where you came from. We made regular trips to visit family in the Philippines, but we also have family in the Midwest and the South. Our family didn't always have a lot of money, but travel was the one area where it was acceptable to truly strain our finances to make it happen. The fact that we did it as a family was the most important thing.

My parents taught me how hard it is to work hard, follow your dreams, and other gay stuff. Speaking of gay, when I met my first boyfriend, I couldn't wait to take him home (after informing my parents that I was a homo, of course). When mom and dad met him, they welcomed him into our family with open arms. I don't even feel right thanking them for that, because I had no reason to expect anything else. I didn't know anything else. I didn't know how to even imagine my parents disapproving of my "lifestyle." They taught me the most important lesson of all when it comes to the hot topic of same-sex relationships: "Who cares?"

But back to working hard and following your dreams and stuff. My parents show me every day that it's important to challenge yourself and not let go of your dreams. About 10 years ago, my mom sat us down and explained to our family that she was interested in journalism, and was going to take a break from seeing patients in order to start a magazine and a TV show. She said it might mean that our family had less money for a while, but it was important to her and she needed our support. I was so young at the time, but now I understand how scary it must have been for her, and how passionate she was -- and still is -- about these projects. She works on them to this day. Dreams are never over. You can make something out of nothing. My parents taught me that.

Now here I am in Los Angeles, financially independent (that was a big day) and doing all sorts of silly things to make my dreams come true. I feel my upbringing influence me every day, as I try to make the right decisions, know when not to ask for help, but more importantly, know when to ask for help. Mom and dad handed down to me the attitude that there is always more to do, there is always more to learn. There is always room to grow when it comes to yourself. Maybe that sentiment sounds trite. My parents taught me that it's not.

I am the person my parents made me. And for that, I couldn't be more thankful.